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    <title mode="escaped" type="text/html">Never Censored</title>
    <tagline mode="escaped" type="text/html">a blog that exists until the black choppers show up.</tagline>
    <id>http://www.nevercensored.com/</id>
    <modified>2010-07-24T03:51:45Z</modified>
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    <entry>
        <link href="http://www.nevercensored.com/archives/218-If-you-liked-WWJD,-then-youll-love-WIJD....html" rel="alternate" title="If you liked WWJD, then you'll love WIJD..." type="text/html" />
        <author>
            <name>Kurt</name>
            <email>nospam@example.com</email>
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        <issued>2010-07-24T03:51:45Z</issued>
        <created>2010-07-24T03:51:45Z</created>
        <modified>2010-07-24T03:51:45Z</modified>
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        <title mode="escaped" type="text/html">If you liked WWJD, then you'll love WIJD...</title>
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                After watching the most recent Penn and Teller: Bullshit! episode about how the legal system is out of control, I created a new test both for lawmakers to gauge the sanity of laws and for the justice system to gauge whether or not they should enforce them.  I figured that with the success of the What Would Jesus Do (WWJD) campaign, I could launch a spin-off with aspirations of attaining equal success.  Thus, I propose the following: "What If Jesus Did... (WIJD)". It goes a little something like this:<br />
<br />
Say you're a lawmaker and you've got a bill. You want to know whether it would be a good idea to try to turn it into a law.  Ask yourself What If Jesus Did...the thing you're about to criminalize.  Would it then be sufficient grounds to put Jesus in jail for committing the crime.  If you wouldn't be okay with putting Jesus in jail for breaking that law, then the law is inappropriate and should thus be either pigeonholed (and thus never made into a law) or repealed (if it somehow already became a law).<br />
<br />
The same process goes for a cop faced with whether to arrest someone for a certain crime, or a district attorney faced with the decision of whether to prosecute someone for a given violation of the law. Judges can even apply it when it comes to sentencing.<br />
<br />
Some examples of the application of the WIJD principle:<ul><br />
<li><b>Rape</b>&mdash;Is it okay to send someone to jail for raping someone else? What if Jesus raped someone?  Yeah, I think son of God or not, Jesus should go to jail for raping someone.  Thus, laws against rape are <b>valid</b>.<br />
<li><b>Theft</b>&mdash;Even though it'd be kind of weird, I'd say it'd be okay to jail Jesus for theft in certain situations.  If he's stealing to eat because he's starving, then by all means, let the man have food, but if it's stealing a car to increase his street cred, then jail Jesus.  Then again, if Jesus was stealing a car because someone was dying and he needed to get them to a hospital, then it wouldn't be right to jail Jesus.  Thus, laws against most types of theft are <b>valid</b>.<br />
<li><b>Drug possession</b>&mdash;Here's one where you really can't justify jailing Jesus.  If Jesus and his twelve friends gather together and get high, don't hurt anyone, and watch Family Guy reruns in the privacy of their own home, how, on earth, could you justify throwing on some SWAT gear, breaking down Jesus's door, and sending him off to jail?  It's absurd.  He's professing peace and happiness, volunteering to help the weak and sickly, and you want to throw him in jail for getting high?  Insane.  Thus, laws against marijuana possession are <b>not valid</b>.<br />
<li><b>Speeding</b>&mdash;Say Jesus was cruising down the highway (sober) and he happened to be going 15 over the speed limit.  Interestingly, this is a case where at least in Texas, both WIJD and the law say that it would be silly to put Jesus in jail for breaking it.  So, a law where speeding, alone, lands you in jail would be <b>not valid</b>.<br />
<li><b>Prosecutorial misconduct</b>&mdash;Say Jesus had a job as a prosecutor and conveniently suppressed or ignored evidence that would otherwise prevent an innocent man from going to jail.  Would it be okay to jail Jesus? You bet.  Jesus would never do such a thing, but if he did, by all means, throw the jerk in jail for life.  Thus, a law jailing prosecutors for life in cases of prosecutorial misconduct would be <b>valid</b>.</ul><br />
<br />
There.  Problem solved. :P 
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    </entry>
    <entry>
        <link href="http://www.nevercensored.com/archives/217-UK-lawmakers-fail-at-internets,-lawmaking.html" rel="alternate" title="UK lawmakers fail at internets, lawmaking" type="text/html" />
        <author>
            <name>Kurt</name>
            <email>nospam@example.com</email>
        </author>
    
        <issued>2010-05-16T19:44:00Z</issued>
        <created>2010-05-16T19:44:00Z</created>
        <modified>2010-05-16T19:53:08Z</modified>
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        <title mode="escaped" type="text/html">UK lawmakers fail at internets, lawmaking</title>
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                So <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2010/apr/08/digital-economy-bill-passes-third-reading" target="_blank">UK politicians are caving in to lobbyists yet again</a>, this time it's resulted in a gem of can't-go-wrong legislation that, in essence, results in ISPs canceling internet access if filesharing is detected on a customer's account.  What the law fails to account for&mdash;in an epic way&mdash;is a golden principle of the internet: you can never assume positive ID based on IP address.<br />
<br />
For those who have no idea what any of that means, live in the UK, and don't engage in filesharing, the chances are decently good that you're gonna wind up being disconnected for filesharing down the line.  It really doesn't matter that you're not filesharing, but it does, in fact, matter that you have any one of a myriad of security holes on your computer that could easily allow someone to silently hijack your internet connection and route their filesharing traffic through it.  On top of that, you're probably using outdated, totally insecure wireless encryption (or none at all).<br />
<br />
There's not much you can do to prove your innocence, either, because politicians assume that IP addresses correspond to the account holder using the ip address. That's basically just as bad as assuming that the return address on an envelope is the true sender of the letter.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I can't wait until one of them gets busted under his own law when some dude hacks his wireless and goes on a filesharing spree.  Maybe another one of them will download a trojan that opens a proxy (very common).  The most amusing that I've recently seen are trojans that not only open a proxy, but a <i>public</i> proxy, so that not only can the attacker use your internet connection as he pleases, so can anyone else on the internet who stumbles across it.<br />
<br />
If I were to guess, basically the only people who likely could actually successfully instantaneously track and pinpoint&mdash;accurately&mdash;typical forms of traffic, encrypted or not, routed through proxies is the NSA, and I assure you they couldn't give a rat's ass about filesharing or anything other than actual matters of national and international security&mdash;and they never will.  ...and that's the way it should be.<br />
<br />
But you'd think that maybe&mdash;just maybe&mdash;one of the UK lawmakers could have consulted with... I dunno... their IT staff before splicing this in?  Maybe google the word "proxy?"  Nah... it's easier to just take the money and let the chaos ensue, apparently.  So what if a few innocent people get their access yanked and then get sued by some record label for downloading something they never downloaded, with absolutely no way to prove their own innocence?<br />
<br />
So, my little younglings of the internet&mdash;and yes, that includes you, lawmakers above the age of 40&mdash;the moral of the story is simple: never, ever, sponsor, vote for, encourage, or write legislation that implicitly trusts ip addresses as a form of positive ID.  That is, not unless you, too, want to eventually fall victim to your own legislation when some nutjob opponent frames you for something you'll have never even done.  At least when it comes to being framed for drugs they have to procure some drugs first, but on the internet, you can be toast in as little as a few keystrokes&mdash;all from some crappy internet cafe in dirkadirkastan...or from across the street.<br />
<br />
...I shit you not. 
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    <entry>
        <link href="http://www.nevercensored.com/archives/216-Procrastination-is-everywhere.html" rel="alternate" title="Procrastination is everywhere" type="text/html" />
        <author>
            <name>Kurt</name>
            <email>nospam@example.com</email>
        </author>
    
        <issued>2010-05-12T02:14:00Z</issued>
        <created>2010-05-12T02:14:00Z</created>
        <modified>2010-05-12T02:15:14Z</modified>
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        <title mode="escaped" type="text/html">Procrastination is everywhere</title>
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                After having received at least a dozen "we need permission to include your work in our advertising stuff" sorts of requests from various marketing firms for massive mobile device manufacturers (e.g., motorola, nec, sony, nokia to name a few), I now can safely say that all of them have one thing in common:  they procrastinate.  This is obvious, because they'll email me on a Thursday and expect me to fax them some form by the <i>very next day</i>.  The best of them give me an extra day or two and provide me with a pre-filled in form, while the worst of them expect me to take time out of my day to call them in the 22 hours I'd rather spend getting high or something.<br />
<br />
Now, I mean, it's likely these guys say things like this in order to light a fire under my ass. That's totally understandable, and I guess it's expected in the world of big business.  Things happen fast, business moves at the speed of light, time waits for no one, yada yada yada....  Whatever the buzz-phrase, one thing's glaringly obvious:  they procrastinate with the skill and alacrity that I always have.<br />
<br />
I'm only saying this because I remember a time when some misguided teacher tried to lecture me about how one must plan ahead and tackle herculean projects by "simply" working on a little bit at a time, all the while forgetting that other teachers had said the exact same thing about their own assigning of massive projects.  I also remember carefully explaining the direct relationship between happiness and free time, as well as the inverse relationship between the summation of the two and time available to crank out a 10 page paper detailing the intricacies of post-Shakespearean, pre-Modern belly button exhibitionists (and their critics).  Sadly, my protests would usually fall on deaf ears.  It must be some sort of teacher amnesia brought on by fumes emanating from their red pens of doom.<br />
<br />
Long story short, though, I was right.  Sadly, I would guess that any teacher that reads this will probably shrug it off and continue robbing kids of their childhoods in order to prepare them for successful careers in procrastination later in life.<br />
<br />
Tradition:  it's just another word for "cyclically tenured nonsense." 
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