Entries by Kurt

As a followup to my blog on why Christian rock sucks, it appears that God agrees:

More than 40 people were taken to hospital — three with serious injuries — after the floor caved in at a packed concert in an Abbotsford, B.C, church late Friday night.
...
The sold-out event featured contemporary Christian rock band Starfield. A couple of warm-up bands were playing their music when the accident happened, Thiessen said.

Glad to know the big guy shares my opinions. Sucks people had to get injured in the process. If only they had read my blog, this whole thing could have been averted.

Okay, so I joke. Realistically, God didn't do it because even if he exists, he certainly wouldn't give a shit about some crap music and some silly teenagers— regardless of their faith. I suppose, though, that it's really more the end result of putting too little faith in science. Oh well. Perhaps this serves as a warning against future mindlessness.

... or not. After all, chances are they'll simply say it was "God testing them" or something, but the next time a gay soldier dies, they'll say it's because God hates him. Funny how they get to have it both ways. Funny— but mainly just plain pathetic.

Cheers.

I think that it's time that as a society we sit down and agree of one phrase that says succinctly the following:

Trust me, I know exactly what I want, or at least have a good idea, and judging by the way this is going, don't ask why, don't take it personally, but you and I would never work out. It's not you, and it's not me— it's the fact that if we were both in the same equation, it would perpetually be imbalanced, and we would waste a year of our lives trying to rebalance it, only to fail miserably. You're nice, but you've got issues with which simply I won't be able to reconcile. There's someone out there for you, but it's not me. Sorry. You might be a good friend, but it would never be more than that. Ever.

Simple as that. Just one phrase. It needs to be unambiguous and simple to recognize. Perhaps "Zappy the clownbattery" would work. It just sucks when someone tries to talk to you, and makes really shitty small talk to the point where you know, definitely, that the person is either too stupid or too simplistic to ever be able to tolerate for more than 30 minutes— much less date. On top of that, you know with certainty that they'd never be able to tolerate you. So, the only way to convey that is to invoke the Zappy clause.

And, it sucks, because people take it personally and wonder how they can "change" and whatnot, when in all reality they can't. Even if there were some magic personality changing device, it's unlikely that it would have any effect on the already-formed opinions by one person on another.

Anyway, we just need to leave it at that. Someone says hi, someone else detects that you might be hitting on them by the sharp pain in their stomach and the wincing of their eye. Subsequently, they say "Zappy the clownbattery," and then it's mutually understood that that's as far as it goes. No awkward pause or silence; no backstabbing; just pure and simple. Think of all of the broken hearts that would be prevented.

Cheers. :P

Yep, that's right, Wikimedia has hit its 10 millionth article across all 250 languages. Apparently, it was an article about Nicholas Hilliard, an Elizabethan era portrait painter, on the Hungarian language Wikipedia. Pretty cool, eh?

Not only do we have articles about various historical people— we also have them in lots of languages. From alexa's rankings, the various Wikipedias are in the top 10 visited sites for 14 countries, and in the top 20 for 9 more on top of that. And, only around 15% of our users come from the United States. To give even more perspective, our daily reach exceeds MySpace, Facebook, and blows Britannica out of the water. That means that on a daily basis, more people will make their way to Wikipedia than any of the other sites listed. Eat that, Britannica. Of course, google is still kicking our ass, but their time will come... muahahahah.

Wanna jump on the bandwagon? Go make an account on the English Wikipedia... or don't. It's totally up to you. After all, we don't require you to create an account to edit, but if you want credit for your work, it's easier to keep track of it by making one.

Some little-known niches of Wikipedia:

• The reference desk — have a question in need of someone who knows a certain topic well? Ask there and you'll likely have a response within a couple of hours or less.


• Commons — Need pictures or other media but don't wanna pay for it? Look no further. Commons hosts royal-free, free-to-use-and-modify content, so instead of paying ridiculous sums for stock photos, look on commons first. Simply looking for a new wallpaper? Check out the quality images category and you won't be disappointed. I never am. :P


• How we pwn Britannica — We maintain a running list of things that Encyclopedia Britannica screwed up and we've since corrected. Unlike other encyclopedias, we actually respond to our readers' complaints, and, if we don't, we invite them to fix it themselves :P

Anyway. yay us. I'll be the one celebrating, dancing naked on our admin chat channel on IRC if anyone needs me. ;)

Cheers. :P

It sucks being different. I've tried to be the same, and every time I've tried to fit in, somehow I fuck it up. In all reality, I think I'm destined to stand outside of the candy shop for the rest of my life, looking in and wishing that had fates been better, I, too, would be able to sip from the nectars that others are free to take delight in eating— bitter and sweet treats alike.

I blame myself for trying to fake it. Every day I try to fit in by making jokes and trying to keep people happy so as to mask the abject dejection that I can't but feel when I look at the nasty shit that makes the cogs of society spin. When I find something I can latch on to— hold like a blanket to distract me from that horrible reminder— I get caught up in it, thinking somehow... somehow if I can just do this one thing maybe I'll get closer to healing it all. At least I'd be able to justify it as helping someone, somewhere to live a better life.

So I tried to fake it. I should have never tried to be an actor— I should have never emerged from my backstage home to try to be something I'm not.

It's lonely working behind the scenes. It's a lonely, thankless job that'll net you, at best, a few words in a forgettable program. I guess I don't really have a choice, though. I mean, in the end, I'll always botch something when I'm on-stage. I'll forget a date, miss a cue, break character, or somehow make others remember that I'm not the person they expect me to be, and instead of being what they need, I'll just be some random person. ... and then it all hits me again. Faced with rejection from my facade, I lose grasp of my distractor, and all of the things I've tried to forget about the world come rushing back to mind, and I cry. Withdrawing from the light, I never want to set foot in it again.

... but give me the option to be myself— to return backstage where I truly can make magic and none will be the wiser— and I'm able to once again quiet the din of the world.

So I guess I'll just be alone. That's probably why, when you hear about all of the people like me in history, they pretty much all had dysfunctional relationships with society. I understand that now, and I'm increasingly coming to terms with that.

I long so much for someone to love— truly love— who actually does understand me. However, like my predecessors, I don't really know if that's ever going to happen. Nobody falls in love with guys like me. They fall in love with actors— they fall in love with guys pretending to be guys like me, because guys like me, despite our shitty attempts at acting when we force ourselves to do so, are too shy to approach the audience. We prefer, instead, to sit from afar and watch others enjoying the show we know in and out— almost wishing that we didn't know the next punchline by heart, so that we, too, could hinge on it and, once delivered, finally sigh laughter like everyone else.

I'm not sure where to go from here. You'd think the choice would be simple: do what's in your heart, right? Well, what's in my heart right now is withdrawal— giving up— living a life of solitude. Otherwise, I'm probably just going to continue to fuck up attempts at trying to be someone I'm not in hopes that I might finally fool someone into a meaningful relationship that is, essentially, built on a meaningless foundation. I always figured that the latter was the only real option, because it seemed like the most practical compromise between the two extremes: on one extreme, being myself would denote that I would spend relatively little time in the public eye and would thus minimize the chances of finding love; on the other extreme, not being myself would denote that I would spend proportionately greater time in the public eye and would thus maximize the chances of finding love, yet that love would be fundamentally built on a persona of someone I'm not.

So I'm fucked either way. The problem is that in the latter condition— playing the game by acting the role, it's clear that I might accidentally cause hurt to another person. That doesn't sit well with me. I can't justify even temporarily hurting someone if I can at all control it, and pretending to be someone I'm not in order to find love is potentially emotionally dangerous for those that cross my path; so, by logical deduction, I think I'll just skip out on it all together. I'd rather feel miserable for the rest of my life than make someone else feel the same way.

Yeah, it's a raw deal. I suppose that's the "perk" of being me. By the way, if you're one of the few out there who truly is a good person, let no one ever tell you that knowledge is power. It's not. It's only powerful for those that abuse it. On the kind person, however, it has crippling effect of imparting... nothing. No, worse than nothing. It takes away all that was once unknown in the world and replaces it with all of the correct answers— almost none of which are the ones you had desperately longed for.

Trust me, it'll be much easier for you at the end of your life to go, "oh wow, everything I know is wrong" than to realize it early in life. At least when you're in a nursing home you can blame it on being young and stupid, and you'll be free to bask in hindsight.

I'm living proof that no old person should ever be cursed with being young again. It's cruel and unusual punishment, and it's a trap to assume that being "young'n'sexy" or some other delusion will ever be worth it. You'll feel emptier than you've ever felt in your entire life, and since you've likely already experienced love, you'll quickly remember that sex is just plain boring without it. But, it'll be too late. You'll start to wonder if you'll ever be able to find the love you once had, and soon you'll be back where you started— dying in a nursing home, relieved that you don't have to worry about it any more.

... and I'll envy you.

Until then, you'll find me behind the curtain. Heh, actually, I lie— you'll probably find me perpetually behind you (since that's where the lighting console probably is), wearing all black while staring at the back of your head, but saying that I'll always be staring at the back of your head while wearing all black sounds wayyyy too spooky, so if it helps, you can instead continue to imagine that I'm just behind the curtain. :P

Forget liability waivers, lawyers, or legalese. This nature preserve has the absolute best and most honest disclaimer ever. It's the disclaimer to end all disclaimers.My favorite part:

By entering the Preserve, you are agreeing that we owe you no duty of care or any other duty. We promise you nothing. We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. The premises are not safe for any purpose. This is no joke. We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, whether we know about it or not. If we do decide to warn you about something, that doesn't mean we will try to warn you about anything else. If we do make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, we may not try to correct any others, and we may make matters worse! We and our employees or agents may do things that are unwise and dangerous. Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice. Don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE THE PRESERVE AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!

Cheers.