Ending the holy war between Macs and PCs

I get tired of people posting crap about both, so here's a truly objective overview for everyone:

• Most secure: FreeBSD.
  
• Least secure: Windows.
  
• Most compatible with software: Windows.
  
• Least compatible with software: Linux (mainly because FreeBSD, for example, has a large amount of native linux binary compatability).
  
• Most compatible with popular games: Windows.
  
• Least compatible with popular games: Non-macs (admittedly, non-macs can get away with using commercial packages like winex and/or virtualization, but compatibility isn't guaranteed and there are still hardware compatibility concerns).
  
• Most compatible with hardware: Windows.
  
• Least compatible with hardware: *BSD.
  
• Easiest to use: Mac.
  
• Hardest to use: *BSD.
  
• Easiest to perform core hardware upgrades: Windows.
  
• Hardest to perform core hardware upgrades: Mac.
  
• Easiest to perform OS upgrades: Mac.
  
• Hardest to perform OS upgrades: Tied between *BSD and from-source Linux builds.
  
• Best server platform: Trick question, and depends on what the server's doing, the budget, and the situation.
  
• Worst server platform: Windows client builds.
  
• Best development platform for iPods/iPhones: Mac.
  
• Worst development platform for iPods/iPhones: Anything but Mac.
  
• Best development platform for android phones: Linux; the rest are neutral.
  
• Most expensive: Mac.
  
• Least expensive: *BSD (this would have been tied between BSD and Linux, but BSD's license is less restrictive).
  
• Most stable: *BSD.
  
• Least stable: Windows (ungraceful handling of hardware failures and frequent security patching).
  
• Best official support: Mac.
  
• Worst official support: *BSD.
  
• Best storage server: FreeBSD (due overwhelmingly to free zfs support without being locked into solaris).
  
• Worst storage server: Windows client builds.
  
• Best CUDA, OpenCL, etc platform: Linux.
  
• Worst CUDA, OpenCL, etc platform: Windows.
  
• Best as a media center: Windows (unfortunately due exclusively to PlayReady DRM).
  
• Worst media center: Tied equally between non-Windows (again due to aforementioned DRM).
  
• Best for truly tech-savvy users: Everything, depending on the situation.
  
• Best for non-tech-savvy users who don't call tech support: Windows or Mac.
  
• Best for pseudo-tech-savvy users: Mac.
  
• Best for people who value aesthetics over low-level functionality: Mac.
  
• Best for people who value low-level functionality over aesthetics: Linux (mainly due to the numerous embedded-device-specific flavors).
  
• Worst for lazy people: non-Windows and non-Mac.
  
• Best for lazy people: Mac.
  
• Best for people who like to think they're trendier/better/cooler/edgier than everyone else: Mac.
  
• Best for people who don't want idiots messing with their computer or server: *BSD.
  
• Most open-source operating system: *BSD (wins over Linux due to having a less restrictive license).
  
• Least open-source operating system: Mac (note: Microsoft does, contrary to popular belief, release their source code to companies with a large enough number of licensed PCs, so long as they agree to sign a very tight non-disclosure agreement. In contrast, Mac conformed to the licensing restrictions of the kernel at first, but does not publish their proprietary extensions to anyone as far as I know).
  
• Best mobile phone platform: Android 1.6+ (primarily due to hardware locks restricting Apple's iOS to a specific manufacturer--that is, Apple)
  
• Worst mobile phone platform: Palm and other manufacturer-specific operating systems.
  
• Best for thin clients: Linux.
  
• Worst for thin clients: Mac (hardware locks again).
  
• Most vendor lock-in: Mac.
  
• Least vendor lock-in: Linux.
  
• Worst operating system ever made: Windows ME (there are worse, but this was the most popular of the worst).

Also, please note that there's no battle between "PC and Mac." In a way, that used to be the case when there was a processor and platform difference, but nowadays, Macs are now PCs made exclusively by a specific manufacturer (Apple) that happen to ship with a hardware-locked operating system. This is the reason you can install Windows on a Mac, but not vice versa—Apple hard-codes a lock into their operating system to prevent it from being installed on non-Apple-made PCs. There are ways around this using virtualization, however, but for the most part, the argument is overwhelmingly now between operating systems—not platforms. Thus, the arguments should now be more along the lines of "My Toshiba is better than your Apple," "My Apple is better than your Acer," "My custom-built box is better than your Apple," etc. Alternatively, for disagreements over operating systems, "OSX is better than Windows 7," "Windows7 is better than Linux," "FreeBSD is better than Windows 7," and such are the more appropriate forms of argument.

So yeah, now that the holy war's over, nobody will ever again post flames that are pro- or anti- whatever, right? RIGHT???

Well, crap, I guess it was worth a try anyway.

Cheers,
-Kurt