Christian rock sucks.

(continued)

Perhaps I look too far in-between the lines of various songs, but some have amazing lyrics to which many people can relate. They tell tales of love, romance, heartbreak, hatred, misery, depression, and joy. They touch our hearts, minds, and ears, and they connect everyone under collective uniqueness.

... and then there's Christian rock, which flat-out sucks every meaningful thing out of songs. Sure, they might still sound okay, but it's not enough to know how to play the notes-- you have to know why they're being played.

Writing a song that praises God is about as silly as writing a song that praises your boss at work. At best, it's sucking up; at worst, it's propaganda fueled by completely tax-exempt religious organizations. After all, can you really love someone whom you never see? Can you really love someone whom you only read about in a book or hear other people talk about? Is that really love?

Therefore, the depth of the song is inherently limited. Let's brainstorm up some topics: doubt, acceptance, and.... Well, shit, two.

Thus, in terms of artistic talent, I equate Christian rock with ad jingles. You can either buy the product or not by the product. Christian rock songs are the equivalent of an endorsement that say they initially bought the product, tried it out, found out it didn't really work as advertised, but they still use it anyway. Whoopdee fuckin' doo. I'll take an Oscar-Meyer commercial any day over that rubbish. At least I know they'll taste good.

Worst of all, as opposed to serving as a uniter, Christian rock is instead a divider. If you're not part of the club already, the incessant overplay of the addictive chorus will serve as a reminder that everyone hates everyone else because we all worship different invisible people in the sky. Ah yes, what a great thing to be broadcasting from coast to coast and across the world via satellite: dissonance in melodic form.

And I'm not denigrating the history of religiously-inspired music, either. A bunch of great classical works were funded by the religious organizations during the Renaissance and baroque periods. The difference there, however, is that there actually was uniformity in where they were primarily "broadcasted--" that is, churches. Plus, the Renaissance musicians lived in monarchies and theocracies, where in full Monty Python style, truly nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition. :P

But welcome to the 2000's, where... uh... we're supposed to be encouraging diversity, but instead we're reminding everyone just how segregated we all must be. "Jesus take the wheel?" Are you fucking kidding me? How about the people who don't think that Jesus is magic all-- like, oh, the majority of the world? By encouraging bullshit like that, every time that and every other overtly-Christian song like that plays on the radio, we're reminding everyone just how different they are.

Instead of "Jesus take the wheel," Christians hear, "We're cool because we trust Jesus." Non-Christians, on the other hand, hear "We think we're cooler than everyone else, because we think the opposite of what you think, and you should join our religion to be cool like us, otherwise you won't be cool and we'll make fun of you and say intolerant things but still claim the moral high-ground despite being void of actual morality." You know how I know that? Because that's what I hear every fucking day.

It's sad when I'm a better "Christian" than people who believe in Christ. I guess in order to compensate for that lack of Christian-ness, they figure that so long as they shout it louder than the meek, they'll inherit the earth.

That's all those stupid songs are-- catchy advertisements for a tax-free business.

Christian rock? Yeah, it fucking sucks.